28 Week Update

12/22/22 Eight hours in the car gave me lots of time to reflect on the past week as we drove home. I couldn’t help but think our trip home mirrored in a lot of ways our current situation. As the wind blew and the snow-packed areas slowed us down we kept moving forward, never looking back. Life is unpredictable, the North and Midwest didn’t ask for record low temps and blizzards for the history books, but people have found a way to handle it ready or not.

This is obviously not the road we chose to walk down, but are fully aware there are no other alternatives other than to pull our boot straps up, embrace hands and find a way to walk forward in faith. I know we will face our own storms and pit stops along the way, but I also feel that we are going to stop and enjoy the scenery and will be extra thankful for any graces our lord presents us on along the way.

Walking the halls of CHOC this past week, passing other families, made me realize we too will soon share a bond with all the families who currently pace the hospital halls and those who have already walked them. When you don’t see it every day it’s easy to not think about, it’s no one’s fault either, but if you say a prayer for our baby, maybe say one for all the families in the hospital right now. Holidays are hard for lots of reasons, but especially hard when you can’t be home our surrounded by the traditions and people you love the most.

Though we may be tip-toing closer to the inevitable, the realization of baby girl being here in 10 weeks or less is starting to settle. On Monday the 19th we had a full morning of appointments at Children’s Hospital of Colorado where we received another full ultrasound/echocardiogram of baby girl and were reassured everything but that little left side of her heart is growing normally. Though we listened to best case scenario for her diagnosis it is always a hard pill to swallow to listen to the cardiologist tell us the worst case scenario. The scary reality is that there are no studies of what life really looks like for these patients after 30. The right side of the heart is not designed to have to work as hard as it’s going to have to once surgical adjustments have been made and could potentially be very harmful to her liver and kidneys down the road. I’m almost 30 and feel that right now I’m living my best years. I pray reaching this milestone won’t be a feat for our daughter. I am hopeful with the medical advancements that have been made already for this particular CHD that they continue to make strides. HLHS already ranks a top contender for most improvements of any CHD in the past 20 years! I pray it stays on the rise. (20-30 years ago this diagnosis was fatal!)

I loved the OB we met with as he did a great job of easing my fears and said delivery should be like any other typical birthing experience. They deliver about 300 babies a year at CHOC so baby girl will highly likely be the only baby delivered on her day, thus giving her the staffs undivided attention. We met with a neonatologist who told us if all went well at delivery I will have 10 minutes to hold her. I was under the impression that might not even be possible. As I held my brand new niece in the hospital a few weeks ago the flood of emotions of maybe not having that opportunity to hold my baby right away really hit me, so this small window of time is better than 0 minutes

I thought maybe since I’ve already had two healthy babies handling this situation would be easier, as I am a pretty seasoned mama by now. However in a lot of ways, it creates an extra heart ache because I know what it supposed to be like. I’m not going to let the complications rob our experience. Sure it will be different, but it will never take away the amount of love we will shed on her. I met a Grandpa this past week who shared with me his grandson is 12 and has a special spark about him and told me our baby will too. I can’t help but agree with him I can already feel it to my bones she’s going to be a special little gal, as she is already so loved.

The past five days in Denver were a blessing aside from the painful reality the hospital visit made transpire. We were able to fill our cups with endless memories with our daughters, Corey’s parents, brother and wife and our sweet nieces and nephew. The girls were able to check out the Children’s Museum of Denver, The Lights at Elich Gardens, the Dr. Suess Experience, the Aquarium and most importantly witness their amazing Nana be honored for her retirement of a truly remarkable career and lastly soak up Christmas magic at Gaylord Rockies. Daisy also had her first big shopping trip with Mom, Dad and Aunt Morgan (she was such a trooper, totally her mothers daughter!)

As I reflect on the week and the last few weeks I will share I really have felt a shift and noticed how this has already began to change Corey and I for the better. We have become more patient, present, and simply grateful to soak up all the light our two little girls bring us. We went to the Dr. Suess experience the afternoon after our appointments and both watched our girls with tears in our eyes. I can’t speak for Corey but I’m sure he felt the same, I know for me I just want our next baby to have these same experiences and opportunities to make beautiful memories with her big sisters.

I pray more than anything they continue to make strides in medical advancements for these patients. Thank you to all who have kept us in their prayers, I can’t tell you enough how much it’s touched Corey and I’s hearts. The messages, thoughtful gifts sent, and all the people who have reached out to our family your kindness does not go unnoticed! I apologize I haven’t gotten thank you’s sent, just know we are beyond appreciative for your generosity.

Lastly, despite circumstances I am eternally thankful for the past week, and especially grateful for my mother and father in law for spoiling us all! The memories and time spent with the Schultz crew was priceless. A huge thanks to Uncle G and Aunt Morgan for traveling in horrendous weather with their three littles! Praying they make it home safely by Christmas!